Pick Me Up
by Sarruby
Summary: When Alex gets high, there's always a problem- but duty called. During Stormbreaker's SAS training.


AN: Hey, everyone! I have a random fic. I thought it'd be cute. And guess what? I'm writing it on my XO laptop- the $100 computer!

Enjoy!

-------

Alex had no experience in the real world and had few skills, even though it was the 12th day of his training- after the sergeant's surprising pep talk and Alex's small theft (he wasn't punished; the sergeant would never admit to losing his matches). It was no wonder that all the SAS men in the camp still didn't think highly of him. Most of the time, they ignored him. But there were a few interesting moments- one of which included a hostage situation lecture.

Alex sat in the back of lecture hall beside K-Unit. He was the one sitting in the corner, unsurprisingly. The unit didn't seem to care whether or not he could see the man at the front. At least, Alex could hear the man's booming voice.

"Greetings, everyone! I'm your guest today- I work for MI6, but I'm going to lecture MI5's personnel on what to do in a hostage situation. Interesting, isn't it?" The SAS soldiers didn't laugh- normally, the speaker was humorless and insulted if anyone laughed. "Oh, come on, guys! Laugh a bit! Trust me, there won't be much of that once you get your feet wet." Someone chuckled, but that was it. "Alright, to start off. Hostage situations are tricky ones- especially if they're civilians. Some of them sue like you wouldn't believe. What's most important is to consider the stakes- and sometimes you won't know what they are. If it's a no-win, then try to do what saves the most lives."

Alex tuned out from there, though he did notice a few of the man's jokes. After all, why would he need to know what to do in a hostage situation? He was just intelligence-gathering, the minor, safe stuff. He looked and felt bored. Snake, who was sitting beside him, noticed but didn't comment.

Listening with half an ear, Alex noticed when the MI6 agent moved on past the basic ethics and situations. Most of it was common sense- try not to pis off the captors, save the hostages, don't risk more hostages, follow the captor's orders unless it's against good judgment, etc. The man moved on to a slightly different topic.

"Alright, you guys, I think you're pretty smart- you all got those basics, so what do you do when the threat is neutralized? Guesses?" By then, the agent had gotten quite a few of the soldiers to warm up to him. A few hands went up, including Eagle's.

"You there, in the back!"

"You get the people to a safe location, sir, right?"

"That's right, and what do you do if some can't move on their own?"

Eagle contemplated the problem and suggested the logical answer. "Transport them, sir?"

"Correct again! Gold stars and a pat on the back for you, my man." Eagle hid a sheepish smile from the praise and snickers. The lecturing man continued his spiel.

"Therefore, I'm going to teach you lot how to pick up people- but because there are no dummies, you'll practice on each other. Ah, yes, now you see the purpose of the mats." Alex looked down, and, sure enough, there were several mats from the combat room lying all over the floor.

"Because there's four to a unit, pair up or something. You can try each of these lifts once I'm done." The agent scanned the pairing up crowd. "I'll need a volunteer to let me demonstrate each, and the remainder of this time will be for practice. Believe me, carrying others can be quite strenuous!" There was about a half hour left, and approximately 60 soldiers in the room, excluding Alex, or 15 units. One of the men in the front volunteered, so the agent started to demonstrate different ways of lifting people.

"First is the classic Fireman's Lift. It's quite simple, really- watch." The SAS man stood in front of the agent, and the agent grabbed him. Using a few quick maneuvers, the SAS man was on top of the agent's shoulders in no time, with seemingly little discomfort.

"This lift is probably the main one you'll use for men. It's quick, simple, and hardly painful to either person." The agent put the SAS man back on his feet.

"Seeing as you all will be in units, there's a few more things to note. You'll be practicing another lift with your unit for people with spinal cord injuries. Would this man's unit please come up?" The volunteer's unit stood and joined the man at the front of the crowd.

"When the party to be carried has a spinal injury, you mustn't move them if you can help it. In the situation that you must, however, gather around the injured and lift as one." Here, the man whispered to the others, and they demonstrated carrying on the original volunteer.

"There are two other ways you may employ. Should you need to make a good impression, or should the person be a girl, there's always-" the agent lifted one of the SAS men, to the laughter of the crowd "- a bridal style or the for-the-fainted-girl method." Back on his feet, the SAS man didn't look or seem terribly amused. It wasn't the original volunteer, after all, that had looked girly in the agent's arms. The volunteer looked sheepish for involving his teammate, but the look vanished into seriousness when the agent whispered something and lifted him again.

"This is one to use for struggling people- when they're slung over your shoulder, you wind them while lifting, and they are mostly helpless. Plus, you don't have to listen to their complaints as much. Also, you keep one of your hands free, like the fireman's lift. Of course, in the fireman's lift, you may hold their leg and arm with one hand." The SAS man was dropped down with a solid thud. Although Alex couldn't hear it perfectly, the loudly whispered "thank-you" traveled through the lecture hall to partially meet his ears. Admittedly, the man was a rather likable fellow.

"Questions, and then you'll practice your lifts. Good?" An affirmative answer arose with a few hands.

Alex tuned out the question-answer session until Snake asked a question. "What lifts should we use on a child, sir?"

Smirking, the agent said with an odd accent, "'Somethin' on your mind', boy?"* The few nerds that caught the jokes snorted, and the others just chuckled at the "boy" comment. The agent stopped smirking for a moment, as if noticing something shocking.

"Christ! Is that a child next to you?" he exclaimed disapprovingly.

"Yes, sir," Snake said simply. Alex looked down, away from the many heads that turned. Despite the fact he'd been there nearly a fortnight, he hated when people called attention to him because of his age.

Quickly recovering, the agent continued, "Well, normally I'd just describe the movements, but since we've got a real specimen..." The agent's voice trailed, hinting obviously. With a quiet sigh, Alex walked to the front of hall amidst the stares.

"Thank you, boy. What's your name?" He was speaking to Alex, but his voice echoed throughout the hall.

"Cub, sir."

"And what the heck are you doing here, Cub?" The agent was curious, teasing, and surprised all at once, but a bit of anger from knowing kids were being used laced his tone. And was the stressed "Cub" due to jealousy?

"I can't tell you that, sir." The agent nodded and addressed everyone.

"Right, so there are a few lifts for a teenager or child. It's fortunate Cub is so small- I can also show you a few for a smaller child, hopefully. Of course, the fireman's lift, the bridal carry, the over-the-shoulder method, and the spinal cord lift are all legitimate. Now, I'm going to show you some easy ones. First off is a simple piggy-back ride." The agent crouched down and looked pointedly at Alex. After a moment's hesitation, Alex carefully kept his expression neutral as he climbed onto the agent's back. The man stood.

"Now, you can hold their knees by your sides or support them like a chair. It's a good idea to ask them to hold on, though." He demonstrated all three tips, and Alex reluctantly wrapped his arms around the agent's neck at the third one. The man was huge, though it had been hard to tell at the back of the room- up close, he was at least six feet, so Alex had decided to simply comply rather than resist. Once the agent crouched, Alex simply stepped off and turned his back to the audience to face the agent; the agent had demonstrated the ways of holding with both of them facing away from the audience, so that everyone can see.

"Besides a piggy-back ride, you can lift children with your hips. It's better with young children- five, six, nine, you know- but Cub here is small enough, and I'm large enough to give a decent demonstration." The agent turned around to face Alex as if to pick him up, but thought of something else.

"I almost forgot to tell you all- to pick a child up, you can put your hands under their arms, on the sides of their chest, or on their hips, if you're daring. Between the legs might give the SAS bad publicity, so stick to those three." As he named each location besides the last one, the agent positioned his hands on Alex. Alex was glad that he was facing the agent, so that the audience couldn't see his quick blush when the agent touched him.

"Anyway, the hip-lift is like so." The agent swiftly seized the sides of Alex's chest and picked him up off the ground. One of his hands slid down to better support Alex's weight. "Again, ask them to hold on, and you can use one arm, like this."

Alex was very grateful that only the agent could see his face. He was solidly frowning from spreading his legs to be carried like a toddler. It was awkward, if not embarrassing.

The agent continued his spiel. "For another one arm hold, you can do a variation on the bridal carry, like this." The agent used his upper arm to support Alex's back while holding Alex's knees with one large hand; Alex crossed his arms in front of his chest. A few snickers were sparsely placed throughout the hall. Alex tried very hard to keep his expression neutral, but a small frown tugged on the corners of his mouth.

"Lastly, you can pick them up with your shoulders. It may be a little awkward at first, but it works well, and you may even be able to keep both hands free." Placing his hands on Alex's shoulders, the agent turned Alex so that Alex was facing away from him. "Just get a good grip, and lift. It's probably better with younger kids, but again, our sizes make this work fairly well."

Alex started to turn to see what the agent meant by 'good grip', but he didn't get the chance. The audience saw his expression of surprise as the agent hefted him up by gripping Alex's sides. Alex's expression changed to pain when the agent accidentally smashed Alex's head into the ceiling's metal crossbeams.

Not caring terribly about what the soldiers thought, Alex clutched the top of his head and leaned forward away from the ceiling with a silent grimace. It took a moment for the ringing to stop and for his balance to return, and then he heard.

"Cub, Cub! Gosh, don't be so unresponsive. You okay?" The moment of Alex's recovery must have been somewhat long, for voice was from Snake who was standing in front of the agent and looking up at Alex. Alex blinked away stinging tears and lowered his arms. He couldn't see the rest of K-Unit amidst the soldiers; they had started practicing their lifts. The agent must have given the command while Alex was out of it.

"I'm fine." The chagrined agent lowered Alex after the okay was given from Alex. This time, Alex ducked.

The agent spoke, so that Alex and Snake were the only listeners. "Sorry, Cub, and thanks for helping. If you don't mind, would you let everyone try out the child lifts on you? It's not everyday we get small visitors."

Alex glared at the speaker. Snake cocked a dubious eyebrow.

"Of course, not the last lift. Just piggy-back riding, hip lifts, and the bridal style for kids. Is that alright with you?" Alex softened his expression and sighed. He nodded resignedly. It wasn't like he had partner to practice with, and there was no way Alex could lift a grown man easily.

Alex and the agent walked around the room, letting everyone try to lift a child in 3 ways. Alex didn't find it enjoyable nor fun; it was more like he was being used. It wasn't a fun thought, so instead he thought about how well each person lifted him- many were obviously unpracticed or new at it. Of course, he didn't say anything to anyone; he let the agent tell them what to do or what they were doing wrong.

K-Unit was the last group to get a chance to lift Alex. Eagle had studied Alex, then proceeded to lift him up. Alex found his movements jerky and uncertain; he guessed Eagle didn't have kids. Eagle frowned slightly the whole time, clearly disgruntled by the task. The agent was constantly correcting him.

Fox seemed a bit unskilled as well, but by the third lift, it was like he was a weathered father. He was adept at most anything, it seemed. By the end, he was almost smiling.

Snake was gentle- if he didn't have kids, he had babysat, guessed Alex. Most of the soldiers were more like Eagle; Snake's skill surprised him, but he didn't let it show. Snake followed suit with a passive expression.

Sure, Wolf had been kinder to Alex in the past few days, especially after the 'matches', but that didn't mean Alex was unsurprised by how Wolf treated him. Wolf held him more tightly than all the others, as if he was afraid to drop Alex in an overprotective way. Like Snake, he seemed practiced with flowing movements and little instructing from the agent, but Wolf was clearly more careful than all the rest.

When it looked like the agent was about to comment on Wolf's one armed bridal hold, Wolf interrupted with an unusual comment of his own. "Why are you teaching the SAS?" The agent's face darkened.

"None of your business."

"It's because of your foot, right? Someone must've cut your Achilles' tendon," piped up Alex.

The agent was taken aback. "How...?" Wolf looked at the boy in his arms with nothing short of wariness.

"The way you walk is unusual. I noticed when we were going around- you had an odd way of putting your right foot down. It took me a while to figure out why," Alex said, "but it made sense if I assumed you were off duty for an injury, and combined with what I saw, it seemed like the Achilles' tendon made sense. But for all I know, you could have be removed from duty because of psychological trauma- it's just a guess, right?" Alex had no insulting intentions; like Wolf, he wanted to know why the agent was here.

Alex had no way of knowing how the agent would react to his deduction. It was a neat trick Ian had taught him, and he found it fun to psyche out strangers. Knowing something unusual about a person often unnerved them, and it showed another side of that person most of the time in addition to showing how observant you were.

"You tactless little..." The agent obviously found the topic to be a hot spot, for his hands curled into fists while his pupils started to flicker between small and large- he may have been having a flashback, Alex presumed. Apparently, his foot, mind, and pride were all hurting.

Wolf saw the punch coming, and Alex did too. The difference was that Alex was being held and was in no position to block, but Wolf had one arm free.

Wolf grabbed the agent's fist that had been soaring towards Alex's head. "What the heck?" Wolf hissed. Alex didn't say anything; he was too startled. That was one side of people he'd never seen before. The agent took a deep breath and calmed down.

"Bull's eye, Cub. My tendon was cut, and I've been traumatized, I guess." The agent gave a sardonic smile that touched only his mouth. "Though I didn't realize how bad the mental trauma was." With that, the agent turned and walked out the door. Time was up anyway. It seemed you couldn't judge a book by its cover.

Thankfully, not too many people had been watching the exchange between Wolf, Alex, and the agent. Unfortunately, Fox, Eagle, and Snake had been watching; only Snake commented.

"Nice one, Cub."

-------

Later, in the mess hall during dinner, Alex sat next to Wolf for the first time. Wolf hadn't spoken a word to Alex since the morning hostage lecture. Neither had said a word when they separated (K-Unit went to the shooting range), nor had they spoken when Wolf helped Alex over the assault course's highest wall for the first time ever (admittedly, it was more like Wolf threw Alex over the obstacle).

"Wolf?" Alex timidly asked, wary of K-Unit's responses.

"What's up, Cub?" Alex noticed the slight difference- it was the day after he pickpocketed the sergeant, and since he had thrown down the matches, none of the soldiers had called him "Double-O-Nothing". Had he earned a little respect for pickpocketing, and perhaps a little more from being observant?

"Thanks."

Wolf smirked and sneered, "Only because you're such a girl."

Things were back to normal- normal for Alex anyway.

-------

*"Somethin' on your mind?" is a line said by a character from Starcraft- the Vulture's driver.

AN: Hope y'all liked it! Yes, this is the crazy kind of fan-fiction that runs through my head. You're basically reading organized daydreams- did you guess?


End file.
